Speako's, Fart Humor and Runza Hates Me

Here's what has been keeping us giggling lately- feel free to laugh with (at) us. ;-)

If you are a regular reader, you know that sometimes our brains take much longer to activate than our mouths or fingers, which results in speakos, or as Dev calls them, typos with my mouth (yeah, she's the big texter and can type about a zillion words a minute). Here are some of our blunders.

Mommy to Kyra- For crying out loud I'm not your mother any more, don't make me treat you like a child. (Naturally, it was meant as quit acting like a toddler, you should know what to do without me having to tell you every darn thing that needs to be done or give you a gold star for doing it, you are in fact a mother yourself and should know these things by now.)

Mommy to Dev- Back when I was a mother... (Naturally, it was meant as when you guys were little kids.)

I know, right, maybe I need to hang up my mommy badge. ;-)

Ian saying green beans- bean beans, which they will forevermore be known as.

Dawn when she was little and uber excited because we rarely had it and she was telling gramma what was for dinner- she knew what it was but the words tumbled out in the wrong order- Roni Mac & Cheese- which is what we call it now.

Daddy was in the AF and we got into marching the girls to bed- we'd say march, march, stiff as starch etc and when Casey was a wee little thing- well a wee littler thing since she still is, but she was maybe 3 when this happened- we were going up to bed and she sang march, march, sniff my farts. She had NO IDEA what that meant but the rest of us about died laughing.

We can't remember who first speako-d it because it was always called this after, but back when Party of Five first aired- farting at five.


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Since we're going with the fart thing apparently, this isn't a speako, but funny nonetheless:

When Dev was little the nephew was telling Dawn he creaked the house (his way of saying he farted) and the little genius pipes up that's not a fart that's just a smell molecule. We still laugh about this one all the time.

Another funny-  Ian has been saying since he was 3- back when I was just a little boy.  


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When we were at Panera the other day, my valentine (Ki) and I got to talking about food and how picky some people are. *whistles innocently*

She said you know mom, Runza hates you.

I said excuse me? (For those of you who don't know, Runza is a fast food restaurant, I think chain in Nebraska.) I have never once been in a Runza in my life (even though we were stationed at Offutt AFB in Omaha for several years).

She says yeah but when I worked there and had to deal with the veggies I would keep tossing them and my manager would say what are you doing and I would say my mommy would send it back so I won't serve it. They got to hating you so bad it's not even funny.

Bwahahahaha sorry, but if you are serving foods you should have standards and they should be high. I won't serve or eat if something is a little wilty, the hard vein on the lettuce or cabbage, if it is too close to the stem of the tomato (who wants that ick flavorless greeny yellow glop going into their salad?), etc etc etc.

And yes, it does drive me positively bonkers when the tv chefs don't core the tomatoes or wash and pick through the baby spinach and break/cut off the stems or... well, you get the idea.

Some people think it is being overly critical or picky because it is not uncommon for me to pick through and leave half my salad, sometimes sending it back, even at the nicer places, but why on earth would I eat something out that I am paying good money for when I would neither eat nor serve it at home?

So, Runza can hate me but I feel really good knowing my girl won't compromise her standards on something small that she wasn't even eating herself. It makes a mama proud.


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What's been tickling your funny bone lately?  Share, we love a good gut-busting belly laugh.

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