Shhh Mommy's Meditating.

I've tried to meditate and do yoga. I suck at it, but still I try.
I can do the physical moves, but the mental quiet just isn't happening.
It doesn't help, of course, that when they say things like "that part of your belly that feels all soft and doughy". Umm hello, don't say things like that when I am in the room unless you want doughboy comments. And giggling. Lots and lots of giggling. Just don't.
Meditation causes mental chatter that runs the gamut, from mentally creating a grocery list or wondering who is gonna do what to whom on one of the tv shows I watch to how much better off the government would be if they would put someone in charge who actually had to worry about whether they can buy gas to get to work or groceries to feed the family and split the difference and got a gallon of gas and just enough food to fill the kiddos bellies insisting all the while they are still stuffed. Or had to figure out how to be fair to all parties involved.
No way in hell we'd be bailing out people who pushed for overspending and giving credit that people couldn't afford cuz we would never in a million gazillion years have gotten into such a ludicrous position in the first place. Oh, please, we all know it is the truth. Nobody but the banks ever thought the interest only loans were a good idea, anyone with an ounce of common sense was saying then that it would bite them in the ass and now it has taken out a big fat chunk. I know we have to do something, but there is no way it should have gotten anywhere near this far.
I am not going to go into politics here, and wasn't going to mention it at all, but you see what happens when I try to do something good for myself. Once that is in your brain, how do you shut it up and clear your mind?
Bah.
When the kids were much younger I would tell them I had to go into my room to meditate because it was the only way to get half a second of peace and quiet for myself. Honestly. You parents know- the minute you either get busy or get quiet you are desperately needed. Period.
And telling the kids that you needed to rest for 5 minutes so you had the energy to take them here and there and do this and that for them had them all needing you RIGHT. THIS. VERY. SECOND. IF. NOT. SOONER.
When I told them I was meditating they would actually leave me alone, thinking it would mellow me out and let them do what they wanted for 15 minutes or so. (No, I am not claiming to understand how their minds work, it is just a fact of life.)
Of course they soon learned that if mama said she is meditating that means she is taking a nap. But. It was nice while it lasted.
What works for you? Kyra can't even go to the bathroom without Ian beating on the door incessantly. How do you find your balance and get a minute or two to yourself?
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