Now you all know Ian is the cutest little grandchild in the world. And no, I am not just saying that because I would be kicked out of the grandparents club if I didn't, I mean, c'mon you've seen the pictures. It's obvious he comes from a superior gene-pool.
He is also funny as all get out. Smart as a whip. And BAD to the bone! ROTTEN to the core!
I know, I know already! that puts me in jeopardy of losing my rights as a gramma, but c'mon even the most adoring gigi on the planet isn't an idiot or a liar. Okay, I will admit to being a creative truth-teller at times but no one will ever say fibber-mageester, fibber-mageester, pantaloons aflame (liar, liar, pants on fire in Devii-speak) to or about me.
He pimp-slaps his mama (granted his Aunties didn't help matters one little bit when they made up that 'do your pimp hand show is it time to smack your ho' sung to do your chain hang low as his personal theme song about it the first time he did it at months old), whips his pull-ups down and pees on the dog and anything else that happens to be handy- now this one boggles us because he was all but trained- holding his hand in front of his crotch and saying uh-oh til you took him to the potty and mostly making it in time) but now no warning just peeing wherever, whenever.
He headbutts- people, things, animals, he doesn't care. He makes sure you are watching him when he does it. Yes, he is punished. No, he does not care.
He knows how to play the adults in his life like a master violinist. Well, that's okay, everyone should use whatever means necessary to get what they want out of life as long as they aren't hurting anyone.
The little man has also been known to break through any and every baby-proof lock in existence, climbed over numerous baby gates at the top of the stairs in their condo, open child-proof packaging and basically raise all kinds of hell. If one thing doesn't work he moves on to the next until it does.
Watch him better, you say? Well, Kyra is alone with him all day every day unless they go out or someone comes over so even during a 30 second pee break mayhem can ensue.
You can leave the boy happily playing with his toys or watching Veggie-tales or a Disney move and when you come back you will find mass-destruction of epic proportions.
Kids will be kids, right?
True story, swear to God, not one iota of creative-truth telling.
Kyra lives on the second floor and opened her window (behind the couch) less than an inch to get a little fresh air in the house. Ian was happily chattering with his pets and watching a dvd and playing with something or other and she went to the bathroom to pee. Not even an I drank a big-gulp monsoon pee, just a normal everyday 30 seconds to go wipe and wash.
She comes back and the window which she and Aaron both say is hard to open is pushed all the way up, the screen busted through and Ian is pointing and grinning that evil I know I did something really bad but I'm so adorable just try to punish me grin.
She grabs him from behind the couch, and goes to shut the window and he points and makes his puppy noises. Thank God there is someone living underneath and there is a roof under that particular window because he had shoved their puppy through it.
We are happy to report that no animals or children were harmed in the making of this blog post, sadly, though, one mama has lost what little was left of her mind.
So now on top of climbing, breaking, destroying and everything else, she has to worry about superhuman strength and an evil genius mind.
Whoa, tripping here: Flashback to Pinky and the Brain.
Yes, Ian is a little Brain and will probably take over the world one day or get himself and everyone around him killed trying.